The solar or lunar eclipse, I don’t know which name it is but it’s the one where the moon blocks the sun, is coming on August 21 and every news outlet is saying that need special glasses. I’m no astrologist but that seems like complete horseshit.

Why do I need special glasses to look at a black spot in the sky? It’s absolute insanity and the people writing this bullshit haven’t even kept the story straight. One website tells you can’t look at it period, one tells you that you can only look at it when the moon is directly blocking the sun, and another says you can look at it. WTF, if my eyes hurt, then I can’t look at it, and if they don’t, then I can look at it. I mean they act like people look at the sun until they go blind all the time.

I’ve taken a peek at the sun and I haven’t gone blind yet, what’s so different about the eclipse. I’m not that fucking stupid that I’m going to look at the sun for so long until my eyes burn out. The solar eclipse is a bitch. I’m going to look at it for as long as I feel is necessary and I don’t think I’ll become blind (I might bitch out though).

Also, I really gotta start selling those eclipse glasses. Those are the biggest ripoffs in human history. Why do we have to wear these silly glasses, but cavemen back in the day could stare at an eclipse all day long. I watched a CNN video about how to know when it’s safe to look at the eclipse and it’s a goddamn multi step process. IF YOUR EYES HURT DON’T LOOK AT THE SUN, DUH. I don’t need to poke holes through a piece of paper to check if it’s safe.


Just Look how stupid these mofos look with their glasses, goddamn.

HOLY FUCK. I just continued reading this article and it has a section on how kids can watch the eclipse. “Keep an eye on children and make sure they keep their glasses on at all times, perhaps helping to hold the glasses in place.” HOLD THEIR GLASSES IN PLACE?!!! Yo, if your kid can’t hold their fucking glasses in place, they’ve got much bigger problems than the solar eclipse. This girl Ashley Strickland is the biggest bozo on planet Earth right now. GTFOH with this nonsense.

Now I actually can’t wait until the eclipse that way I can just shove it right in her face that you don’t need all this bullshit protection.

P.S. God I can’t wait for football, done with writing about eclipses. Plus we got Premier League coming up so I’ll give my thoughts on Tottenham before they play on Sunday.